I Would So Watch That! — “The Grand Ball”: Part II

She finds herself in a nightmarish castle. Cavernous hallways twisting and uneven; torches flaming out of decaying human heads; an occasional muffled scream. The man leads her to an enormous banquet hall being set up by dark and disturbing imps that snicker and sneer as she passes by. The man speaks matter-of-factly: “This is where the ball will be held. As you can see, the preparations aren’t finished quite yet. Which gives you time to prepare, as there is a bit of etiquette and protocol you need to be familiar with.” He launches into a discussion of said etiquette and protocol, but she is too overwhelmed to listen closely. Another creepy man appears with a beautiful, petrified woman at his side. The two men chat as if old friends, comparing their trophies.

She is then taken to a room where she is to wait and rehearse what she has learned until the ball begins. There are yet more beautiful women waiting in the room. They anxiously discuss what is going on. Suddenly, the door opens and another woman is pushed in. She seems different than the others—not scared, but seething with cold rage.

She wastes no time, the second the door is closed, she demands their attention and reveals that she is here for revenge. “Ten years ago, that demon came for my older sister, for this damned demonic ball. She left to protect me. But the fucking monster never gave her back. I have spent ten years of my life researching, preparing for this. I enticed that motherfucker back to take me. I will have my revenge. If I can find a trace of my sister, so much the better. But I don’t have high hopes, and neither should any of you regarding your chances tonight. If you don’t join me, you will surely never see your families again—no one has ever returned. But join me, and you may yet live to hold your children in your arms.”

Most of the women are too terrified to join her, would rather take their chances. But a few, including our protagonist, move closer, asking for her plan.

And so begins their violent action-movie rampage, ganging up on and murdering demons as they navigate the labyrinthine castle. The demons meanwhile, furious and frantic, are trying to track them down before their King learns of the debacle. But the women’s Amazonian leader demonstrates a remarkable understanding of both how to hurt, maim, and kill these supernatural monsters, and how to protect the women from their black magic. The other women, lives on the line, are quick learners.

Eventually, they capture a demon lord in his surreal and sumptuous suite. They set to torturing him and learn both the location of the dungeons and the portal linking the underworld to Earth. After much brutal fighting, they make it to the dungeon, freeing everyone imprisoned there. The one woman is reunited with her sister, a teary reunion.

Now an army of pissed-off women, they leave for the portal. The halls are eerily empty. But once at the portal, they find a massive demon army confronting them. And there, at the head, their King–an enormous and unearthly beast. They anticipate battle, but the King surprises them. He pulls out the high-ranking demons that kidnapped each of them and kills them, one by one. He then parts the demon army, and, without a word, invites the women to leave, having earned their freedom.

They warily approach the gate. But no ambush awaits and the long-imprisoned women begin to leave. At the tail end of the exodus, as our protagonist looks on, the reunited sisters linger before the portal. “If we leave now, we have done nothing to stop these monsters from returning to revenge themselves upon us, or abduct yet more women.” The two sisters, alone before the demonic horde, nod at each other, then give a sad, parting wave to our protagonist…

and turn to rip and tear at the portal. The King screams and the army sets upon them. Despite blow after blow, they continue to tear the portal apart, which begins to weaken. Our protagonist, realizing time is short, salutes them with a teary shout and leaps through the fading portal. And not a second later, the two sisters heroically tear the fucker down. Freeing women for eternity.

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